Well, the dreaded "funk" of winter finally reared its ugly head.
typically, my doldrums hit around February or even as late as the first week of March. this year: April 20th.
Not sure if it has something to do with the unfortunate truth Gore warned us about, but my cycle has been slowly shifting to the right... figuratively.
woke up at 3 in the morning on the 20th, filled with dread about a recent email I had sent to another designer. in the email I fished, unapologetically, for a job at his company. I was rehashing the response in the dim haze of morning when I thought I should email him a response.
bad idea.
My email started with "unfortunately". never a good sign when trying to get a second interview.
From there it got steadily worse until ending with a plea for "any chance to fill in the gaps until they find someone who is better..."
really bad idea.
after hitting SEND I spent the rest of the waking hours tossing and turning, generally feeling more and more worthless. and then; I remembered my faithful readers and how I could not let them dow-- oh, wait... nevermind.
Climax of depression hit as I rounded the corner on my current place of work. not entirely sure how I got there, considering I spent the time in the car staring, unblinking, at the road ahead.
what made me realize that I was dealing with my "artistic cycle" is that--later that night--I was equally passionate about starting five completely different projects. ideas shooting through my subconscious like salmon jumping upstream. (double meaning intended)
idea spawning idea, grandiose plans of taking on the world with my stellar creations, fascination with the excellence of my past endeavors... clearly not a "grounded" set of emotion...
only a manic cycle could cause me to go from utter depression to vaults of creative undulations. and, of course, it wouldn't be me unless I would be completely motionless in the face of these pangs. I mean, you don't expect me to DO anything, do you?
anyway. I just wanted to get another post down in the attempt to be *gasp!* consistent.
ooof. blogging is hard.
